Day 3 blogging with Effy....... NO, you can't do that.......oh yes I CAN....
Effy's nudge today: Write about something you used to believe that you no longer believe and how that shift in belief has changed things for you.
Like many of us, I grew up in a very strict household, where fear was a major player in our discipline, and hence a huge hurdle for my brother and I throughout our lives...I am sure many of you understand this completely..... sigh....... sucks big time
I remember literally trembling in my shoes when I heard ...... NO! you can't _____ that.......
please insert any of the following ; say, do, wear, see that person, go out to, read, act like, etc, etc, and please feel free to add to the list. It became clear that if I ventured out of these guidelines, I would be punished not only at home but the world outside would react and come down on top of me as well......from this emerged one terrified little girl. So I became a very silent, still, lonely and anxious girl/teenager/woman, the perfectionism began, and I knew no matter whatever I did would never be good enough in my parents world, or in fact any world......again,...sigh....sucked big time
It wasn't until I left home, and with the patient guidance of some very special friends, I started to believe l CAN. I grew and dyed my hair, wore my hippy clothes, listened to my music, wrote really bad poetry, read what I wanted too. It was so freeing, but deep down I was still waiting for it to all fall apart, like I was warned it would. ...sigh....sucked big time
After all these years I am still a work in progress, I am amazed at how childhood trauma is sooooo very hard to overcome, no matter how much or how hard you try, but I do continue down the healing route and I will get there, ..... sigh...it sucks big time still
The major, and for me, the most important change this shift in belief bought about, was that I was not going to do this to my beautiful children. They were encouraged to do what made them happy with a YES....of course you CAN......although I must stress that I made sure there were always healthy boundaries in place ...ie don't break the Law, respect those around you, watch out for any hidden dangers, (ie; climbing on the roof is not a really good thing to do, even though the cat is up there), I am sure you get where I am coming from.......You will pleased to know, both children survived, both are happy in their lives on this wonderful planet.......no sigh this time,..... just happy thoughts :))
I must say I found this very hard to put out into the world, these nudges from Effy are really bringing out some tough stuff, but that's what it is all about isn't it, it is freeing to get it out into the universe and most importantly ....YES I CAN DO IT.......
Wishing you all love, light and peace xxxx
Effy's nudge today: Write about something you used to believe that you no longer believe and how that shift in belief has changed things for you.
Like many of us, I grew up in a very strict household, where fear was a major player in our discipline, and hence a huge hurdle for my brother and I throughout our lives...I am sure many of you understand this completely..... sigh....... sucks big time
I remember literally trembling in my shoes when I heard ...... NO! you can't _____ that.......
please insert any of the following ; say, do, wear, see that person, go out to, read, act like, etc, etc, and please feel free to add to the list. It became clear that if I ventured out of these guidelines, I would be punished not only at home but the world outside would react and come down on top of me as well......from this emerged one terrified little girl. So I became a very silent, still, lonely and anxious girl/teenager/woman, the perfectionism began, and I knew no matter whatever I did would never be good enough in my parents world, or in fact any world......again,...sigh....sucked big time
It wasn't until I left home, and with the patient guidance of some very special friends, I started to believe l CAN. I grew and dyed my hair, wore my hippy clothes, listened to my music, wrote really bad poetry, read what I wanted too. It was so freeing, but deep down I was still waiting for it to all fall apart, like I was warned it would. ...sigh....sucked big time
After all these years I am still a work in progress, I am amazed at how childhood trauma is sooooo very hard to overcome, no matter how much or how hard you try, but I do continue down the healing route and I will get there, ..... sigh...it sucks big time still
The major, and for me, the most important change this shift in belief bought about, was that I was not going to do this to my beautiful children. They were encouraged to do what made them happy with a YES....of course you CAN......although I must stress that I made sure there were always healthy boundaries in place ...ie don't break the Law, respect those around you, watch out for any hidden dangers, (ie; climbing on the roof is not a really good thing to do, even though the cat is up there), I am sure you get where I am coming from.......You will pleased to know, both children survived, both are happy in their lives on this wonderful planet.......no sigh this time,..... just happy thoughts :))
I must say I found this very hard to put out into the world, these nudges from Effy are really bringing out some tough stuff, but that's what it is all about isn't it, it is freeing to get it out into the universe and most importantly ....YES I CAN DO IT.......
Wishing you all love, light and peace xxxx
I love this so much because it's completely relatable. It's a gift to read this morning. I was thinking yesterday when considering this prompt that one of my beliefs that changed was I used to think I was the only one in a fear-based household, and that had childhood trauma (mainly because *no one* used to talk about it then; for me, that was fear-based as well, I'd be severely disciplined if I even mentioned a word!). That something was 'wrong' with me, for being in it.
ReplyDeleteWhat brought my heart-smile was this shift that we both share around our children. I knew my children deserved a life that felt far different from mine, so I did the work to learn to experience that with them. And later, I turned that inward and gifted it to myself. I don't have a reference point from my childhood experience to feel into or think about as I mother - I tend to do the opposite of the way I was raised - so I always feel like I'm 'winging it'.
I'm really glad you wrote this and I read it; it feels like a beautiful way to open this new day. Thank you!! Love, light and peace to you, too!
Thank you so much for this, I was really worried about this post, so it is wonderful to know that someone else knows exactly what you are talking about. I am so glad we both used it for good by giving our children the opposite from what we had. thank you xxx
Deleteyes you can ...
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